10 Rules of Soccer as a Kid
- The fattest one is always the goalkeeper.
- The person who’s ball it is decides who plays.
- Penalties are only awarded if injured player swears a lot.
- The match only ends when everyone is tired.
- No matter how many you are winning by the winner is always determined by “next goal wins.”
- No referee.
- If nobody has a ball, a plastic bottle will do.
- If you are picked last, you have no hope in life.
- Getting a soccer ball stuck under a car is the most stressful part of life.
- When the owner of the balls gets pissed off, it’s game over.