10 Rules of Soccer as a Kid

1. The fattest one is always the goalkeeper.
2. The person who’s ball it is decides who plays.
3. Penalties are only awarded if injured player swears a lot.
4. The match only ends when everyone is tired.
5. No matter how many you are winning by the winner is always determined by “next goal wins.”
6. No referee.
7. If nobody has a ball, a plastic bottle will do.
8. If you are picked last, you have no hope in life.
9. Getting a soccer ball stuck under a car is the most stressful part of life.
10. When the owner of the balls gets pissed off, it’s game over.